Topic: You have enough money to purchase either a house or a business. Which would you choose to buy? Give specific reason to explain your choice.

Having my own business is a part of my dream since I was little, so if I had money for starting a business, I would do it first immediately. Even though sometimes I think a house is important for a family too, a successful company should have more advantages for more family members. Also, as the time passing by, having a good business would my life meaningful.

Every time when I saw some people living in a poor condition or needing help, I always wish I could help all of them though my own business. There is no doubt that helping people usually needs fortune. To start a business is the first step to make it, and after all there will be more and more people join my business to enlarge my business. Thus, I could help people by not only donation the money in some poverty area or support some medical facilities but also providing the opportunities of working. I believe that having a business could help me to achieve my goal finally and I will do it as soon as I have enough money to start it.

Some people think a comfortable big house can make one family happier, however, I could not agree with them. In my opinion that if I had a business, my family and my relatives will benefit more than I had a warm house for them to stay in. A family business that runs by many family members could make everyone more close, because when we work together and have a same goal, the big family would be very harmony.

To establish a business even a small company would make my life meaningful. A successful business could last for generations and help many people. Thus, as far as I concern, to contribute in an own business and make it stronger is one of the best way to improve self-worth.

In conclusion, when I have an amount of money I will start my business first, instead of buying a house. Having my business will give me more chances to help others and achieve my dream. My family would be benefit too, because the family company will hire some family members and make them together. Also, I will proud of myself it I could start a business by myself and make the successful.

Corrected Version:

Having my own business is has been a part of my dream since I was little, . so If I had money for starting a business, I would do it first immediately. Even though sometimes I think a house is important for a family too, a successful company should would have more advantages for more family members. Also, as the time passing passes by, having a good business would help make my life more meaningful.

Every time when I see some people living in a poor conditions or needing help, I always wish I could help all of them through my own business. There is no doubt that helping people usually needs a fortune. To start a business is would be the first step to make it making a fortune, and after all there will be more and more people join my business to enlarge my business. Thus, I could help people by not only donation donating the money in some poverty poor areas or supporting some medical facilities, but also providing provide the opportunities of for working employment. I believe that having a business could help me to achieve my goal finally and I will would do it as soon as I have enough money to start it.

Some people think a comfortable big (awkward, this sounds better-) big comfortable house can make one their family happier (Happier is not a proper word) more happy, however, I could not cannot agree with them. In my opinion, that if I had a business, my family and my relatives will would benefit more than if I had a warm house for them to stay in. A family business that runs that is run by many family members could make everyone more close. because When we work together and have a the same goal, the a big family would be very harmony harmonious (harmony is a noun, you need an adjective).

To establish a business, even if it is a small company, would make my life meaningful. A successful business could last for generations and help many people. Thus, as far as I concern, (Use “Thus,” or “As far as I am concerned,” to start a sentence if you want to, but don’t use both together). to contribute in to an my own business and make it stronger, is would be one of the best way “one of the best ways” or “the best way” to improve self-worth.

In conclusion, when I have an amount of money I will would start my a business first, instead of buying a house. Having my business will would give me more chances to help others and achieve my dream. My family would be benefit too, because the family company will would hire some family members and make them together. Also, I will would be proud of myself it if I could start a business by myself and make the successful my own successful business.

When discussing a theory or something that you want to do if you were able to do it, “would” is best used. The word “will” is more of like an everyday thing you will do or something completely outrageous that will occur no matter what (ie. “If I had money I would become president.” Vs “I will become president.”).

Also, the first sentence of a paragraph sets the tense of the paragraph. You cannot have sentences in a single paragraph using verbs in the past tense, present tense, and future tense. A paragraph must be in the past, present, or future tense, but not in all three. The next paragraph can be in whatever tense you want it to be in, just as long as all the verbs in the paragraph are the same. (ie. “I went to the park yesterday, I ran at the park and drink water.” Vs “I went to the park yesterday. I ran at the park and drank water.”)

The Final Version:

Having my own business has been a part of my dream since I was little. If I had money for starting a business, I would do it immediately. Even though sometimes I think a house is important for a family too, a successful company would have more advantages for more family members. Also, as the time passes by, having a good business would help make my life more meaningful.

Every time I see people living in poor conditions or needing help, I always wish I could help them through my own business. There is no doubt that helping people needs a fortune. To start a business would be the first step to making a fortune. Thus, I could help people by not only donating money in some poor areas or supporting some medical facilities, but also provide opportunities for employment. I believe that having a business could help me to achieve my goal and I would do it as soon as I have enough money.

Some people think a big comfortable house can make their family more happy, I cannot agree with them. In my opinion, if I had a business, my family and my relatives would benefit more than if I had a warm house for them to stay in. A family business that is run by many family members could make everyone more close. When we work together and have the same goal, a big family would be very harmonious.

To establish a business, even if it is a small company, would make my life meaningful. A successful business could last for generations and help many people. As far as I am concerned to contribute to my own business and make it stronger, would be one of the best ways to improve self-worth.

In conclusion, when I have money I would start a business first. Having my business would give me more chances to help others and achieve my dream. My family would benefit too, because the family company would hire family members. Also, I would be proud of myself if I could start my own successful business.

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